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Jack's Brother's Sister 

A Sketch in One Act 



By 



PAULINE PHELPS and MARION SHORT 



BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 
1916 






Jack's Brother's Sister 



CHARACTERS 

Rob Rowley, jack's rootmnate. 
Petunia, Jack' s brother s sister, 

PROPERTIES 

In addition to articles mentioned on table there should be ready- 
two chocolate cakes of similar size. Writing tablet with message 
from Jack written on top page. A piece of rope. Two pairs of 
boxing gloves. 




Copyright, 191 5, by Walter H. Baker & Co. 



0)GI.U 42484 

DEC -8 I9iti 



Jack's Brother's Sister 



SCENE. — Jack's sitting-room in college. Door c. in flat. 
Doors R. a7id L. openifig into bedrooms. Up L., a wifidow 
opening on to college campus. Table with spread dowfi R. 
On table are school books, two long-stemmed pipes afid the 
framed photograph of a girl. Chairs R. a7id L. of table. 
Down L. a couch sofa with drapery reaching to the floor. 
Room decorated with college flags, tefmis racquets and other 
articles ifidicative of college life and sports. 

(Discovered, Rob Rowley, with a red skirt on, over his 
other clothes, a fancy shawl thrown around his shoulders, 
and on his head a flower-tri?nmed hat. He carries a large 
chocolate cake and is rushifig about the room excitedly, 
seeking a hidifig-place for it.) 

Rob. Now, where the deuce shall I hide this cake ? Some 
of the fellows caught sight of me. They'll be in my room 
next. (Hides cake under right side of sofa. Loud knocking 
heard at door in flat.) Who's that? Quit that racket and 
get away from there. {Goes up to door, afid shouts to those 
on other side of it.) Stop that pounding, I say. I can't let 
you in. I'm taking a bath. But if you're looking for the fel- 
low in the red dress, that stole the Seniors' cake, I just now 

saw him scooting across the campus (^Listens at door 

where pounding has ceased.) They didn't stop to hear me. 
{^Unlocks door, opens it, and looks out cautiously.) Good ! 
They've gone on up the hall! (Closes door and begi?is to 
dance around the room in comical fashion expressive of great 
glee.) And we Juniors won't do a thing to that cake at our 
meeting to-night. Now we're even with the Seniors for the 
last trick they played on us. (Picks up writing-pad fro7n 
table and reads top page.) Hello ! Mr. Roommate's left a 
note for me. (Reads.) <' Am off for rowing practice on the 
lake. Am expecting my younger brother, Ned, from home, 

3 



4 jack's brother's sister 

Entertain him until I get back." {Flings down pad and 
groans.) Just like Jack to ask me to entertain a fresh kid 
when I've got to cram for exams. I'd tell Jack's baby brother 
to go anywhere, if it weren't that I'm in love with Jack's 
brother's twin sister. {Taker up photo of girl from table and 
looks at it sentimentally.) Oh, you beauty, you angel ! To 
think of being in love with a girl's picture for two years, and 
never getting up courage enough to face the original. If she 

is half as sweet as she looks {Hears racket aiid shouts 

in hall.) Still chasing the cake they'll never find. {Sets 
photo back on table.) But if they once caught me in these 
togs 

{Picks up skirt and exits into room, l. Distant shouts 
heard, then Petunia's voice, growifig louder as she ap- 
proaches door.) 

Petunia {outside). Help ! Help ! They're after me. 
Help, somebody! Where's Jack's room? Jack! Jack! 
{Enters door in flat, closes it and leans against it pantingly. 
She has on red dress with fancy coat or cape, atid wears a 
flower-trimmed hat and carries a chocolate cake.) Oh, the 
wretches, the fiends ! I'll never speak to a college boy again. 
They chased me as if I'd been a football. And told me to 
take off that skirt. They must be crazy. It's a pity I can't 
bring my own dear brother a chocolate cake without being 
mobbed. Oh, I believe I hear them again. Jack ! Jack I 

[Exits, frantically, i?ito room, R. 

Rob {as he enters from l., red skirt rolled into bundle 
under his arm). I thought I'd bluff them off. And if any of 
them say anything to me about a red skirt {opening trunk 
standing near door, c.) I'll tell them to go drown themselves; 
and if they dare to accuse me of dressing up in girls' clothes 
{flinging red bundle into left side of trunk) I'll clear out the 
whole lot of them, one at a time or in a bunch. Didn't get the 
wrestling championship in this college for nothings \_Exit, l. 

Enter Petunia, r. 

Petunia. If I could only find Jack. It's a study hour. 
Where can he be ? ( Catches sight of writing pad on table. ) 
Jack's handwriting! {Picks up pad atid reads inaudibly, then 
puts pad down with a sigh.) Oh, what shall I do? I wish 
Neddie had come instead of me, as he intended. Goodness 
only knows when Jack will come in, and — oh, I can never 



jack's brother's sister 5 

go down all those stairs alone in this red dress. Just the sight 
of it seemed to give them hydrophobia. If I could only get 

into some of Jack's old togs and make my escape Oh, 

maybe I can ! [^£xi/, hastily ^ into rootJi, r. 

Enter Rob, l. 

Rob. Rob, old boy, you bluffed the Seniors out of their 
cake and you're it, you are certainly //. {Sets Petunia's 
photo to frofit of table, lights a pipe, and sits down to con- 
template the photo as he smokes.') Always like to have her in 
front of me to gaze on through the hazy. The girl of my 
dreams. The little girl they all thought as timid as a shadow, 
who yet had the nerve to dress in her brother's clothes and win 
that big race at the county fair — and win my heart when I 

heard about it. Pretty as a flower and plucky as a 

(Looks at pipe.) Needs some more tobacco. \_Exit, l. 

(Petunia, /// man's riding costume, her hair done up under 
cap, peeps out of door, r., and then e filers.) 

Petunia. I'm a sight in these things of Jack's, but I feel 
safer than in that red skirt. Now, if I can only get down to 

Nell in the carriage But I'd better hide my dress first. 

(^Reaches inside room, r., attd brifigs out her red skirt. She 
rolls it into a bundle.) If any visitors came in, it might com- 
promise Jack if left in plain sight. I'll throw it in here. 
{Opens trunk afid flings it into right side of it.) And those 
wretched college boy Indians shall never eat Jack's chocolate 
cake — I vow they shan't. {Runs into room, r., and efnerges 
immediately with cake which she hides under sofa, other side 
of ivhere Rob has hidden his.) There, now, I'm all ready to 
go. But I feel dreadfully scared somehow. I — I can't go out 
there before all those college students showing my — boots. 
But I must. It's the only way out of it. Well, I'll try to look 
like a sport if I can. {Puts cap on one side, swings riding 
crop and practices a gait. Rob appears in door, r., unper- 
ceived by her. He stands staring at her afid smokes as he 
does so.) Nothing the matter with this stride. I believe I can 
carry out the bluff all right. If I meet any girls I'll make a 
hit with them. I'm braced for the start at last. 

{Goes toward door, c.) 

Rob. Hello, you, hold on ! 



6 jack's BROTHEjl's SISTER 

(Petunia comes to a sudden halt, almost falling over with 
the shock at hearing hifn.) 

Petunia. It's Jack's roommate. I shall die. {Direct , 
facing Rob.) Hello yourself. I'm in a hurry. 

{Starts for door again.) 

Rob. None of that. Come and plant yourself. I've been 
looking for you and I'm glad to see you, but I'm busy, very 
busy. Sit down and watch me study. 

{Sits at table and opens a book, indicating other chair for 
Petunia to sit in!) 

Petunia {in faint voice). But I can't stay, you know. 
There's nothing to stay for. 

Rob. Nonsense. I've been expecting you. I'd have known 
you anywhere, Freshie. 

Petunia {piteous ly). I suppose I do look fresh, but I'm 
feeling quite wilted, thank you. {Aside.) Who does he think 
I am? 

Rob. Family resemblance, Neddie. Jack's nose and eyes. 
How's your twin sister? 

Petunia {aside). Oh, I see. I'm my brother's sister's 
twin brother. {Direct.) My sister is threatened with nervous 
prostration. 

Rob. I'm sorry to hear that. Something's tried her nerves ? 

Petunia. Yes, she's been chased by a lot of wild Indians — 
animals, I mean. But she's better now — {looking back affright- 
edly at door) while it lasts. Do they ever break in here ? 

Rob {jne dilative ly). I'm awfully sorry to hear that about 
your sister 

Petunia. I'll tell her so. Good-morning. I won't wait 
for Jack. {Rises.) 

Rob. Don't go yet. Sit down. He expected you to stay 
until night. {Aside.) Odd he should be in such a hurry. 
{Direct.) Say, you don't seem to know me. I'm Rob Row- 
ley, Jack's roommate. Don't you remember when you went 
camping with us two years ago, and the fun we had, eh ? 

{Slaps Petunia on back.) 

Petunia. Yes, yes, I remember. {Aside.) He nearly 
jarred my hair down. {Fulls cap tighter.) Oh, if he should 
ever guess I'm my sister I should just go up in smoke ! Here's 



jack's brother's sister 7 

for a bluff. (^Direct.) By Jove, didn't we have a rummy old 
time camping, though ? Swimming and smoking and drinking 
gin fizzes and things with whiskey in *em, and sitting up as late 
as eleven o'clock, and kissing the girls, old sport, yes, kissing 
them, by thunder ! {Slaps Rob on back with tremefidous force 
and walks off in bravado fashio7i. Aside.) Fancy I carried 
that off rather well. (Loses confidence.) But maybe I didn't. 

I — I'm afraid I didn't, and if he suspects {Nervotfsly, 

direct.) You really must excuse me now. I've got to meet a 
man on the corner. 

Rob (startiiig upj sterfily). Sit down, that's too thin ! 

Petunia. Who ? Me ? 

Rob {severely). Sit down, I say. (Petunia sits timorously, 
Rob, aside.) I'll bet he's onto my stealing that cake and wants 
to get out to blab to the Seniors about it. Jack's a Senior, 
and 

Petunia (with sudden bravery startitigfor door). Say, you 
can't boss me around. This isn't any kindergarten. I'm 
going. 

Rob. But you're not, little Freshie. (Locks door, c.) 

Petunia (aside, frightened). Locked in with a man ! (Re- 
covers her courage.) But after all there's nothing wrong about 
it when you're a man yourself. 

Rob (suspiciously, as he grabs her hand and leads her down 
stage). Now, look here. There's something about you that 
isn't right. 

Petunia {aside, almost tearfully, inspecting her trousers). 
I must have got 'em on wrong side to ! 

Rob. And you're not going out of this room until Jack 
comes if we have to stay here all night long. 

Petunia (aside, very much frightened). Isn't he fierce? 
I'll have to jump out of the window, and I'll be certain to land 
on the wrong end. 

Rob (suspiciously). By the way, you didn't see anything 
of a girl around this dormitory to-day, did you ? 

Petunia (gaspingly). With a red dress? 

l^O'B (aside). I knew it. The Seniors have set him to watch 
me. I'm on to them. (Direct, in bulldozijig manner .) Yes, 
with a red dress. But she didn't come in here ! Do you un- 
derstand ? She never came near this room. 

Petunia (^fieekly). Didn't she? Well, I — I'm glad she 
.didn't. 

Rob (handing her a long pipe from table). Here, make 



8 jack's brother's sister 

yourself comfortable. You are my prisoner, so be resigned. 
I've got some work to do. Smoke up and be happy. (Aside.) 
While he's occupied I must get rid of that red skirt. 

{Goes up stage to trufik.') 

Petunia {examining long pipe critically). What do you do ? 
Play on it ? {Runs fingers up and down pipe stem as if play- 
ing flute. Rob pulls trunk toward room, l. Petunia, hear- 
t?ig him J puts down pipe and starts up excitedly.) Stop ! stop ! 
What are you doing? That's Jack's trunk, isn't it? 

Rob. It's Jack's and mine together, but it's in the way here 
and I'll take it into another room. 

Petunia. Yes, Jack's room. Over here. 

Rob. No, my room. Over there. 

{They pull opposite ways, holding handles of trunk ^ 

Petunia. You said half of it was Jack's. {Aside, horror 
stricken.) My clothes are in there — and garters. He mustn't 
look! 

Rob. Well, the biggest half is mine. {Aside.) That con- 
founded red skirt ! If I could only get that out. 

Petunia {as they still tug at trunk). I'm here to defend 
Jack's property. His half shan't go. 

Rob. Nor my half either. {Aside.) The kid's on to me 
— sure as fate. He suspects what's in this trunk. I'd like to 
give him a solar plexus. 

Petunia {aside). If I can't manage to keep him out of this 
trunk I don't suppose I could ever manage a husband, and I 
always said I would. 

{They sit on trunk determinedly ^ hacks to each other.) 

Rob {after pause). Err? 

Petunia. Um ? 

Rob. Did you speak? 

Petunia. Did you say anything? ^^ 

Rob. No, I didn't say anything. 

Petunia. How funny ! I didn't either. 

( They turn their backs again. Pause.) 

Rob I {^P^^king simulta7ieously). Yes, 'tis nice weather. 

{Pause.) 



JACK S BROTHER S SISTER 9 

Rob (aside). I'll soak him in a minute. 

Petunia {aside). If I could only find a pin in these clothes, 
I'd jab him. 

Rob. Look here, you little lobster, do you know anythmg 
about boxing — the manly sports, eh ? 

Petunia {with great bravado). Manly sports? I should 
say so. I can play croquet, and I've played hookey. There ! 

Rob. Don't get funny, kid. Boxing, I mean. 

Petunia. Fighting blood in the family. See that muscle. 
{Extends arm ; aside. ) He's trying to frighten me. {Direct.) 
Why, I've boxed ever since I stopped wearing dresses, and I'm 
a wonder ! 

Rob. Good ! We'll have a bout. You get Jack's gloves 
in there, and I'll get mine ! (Starts for rooni^ l.) 

Petunia {aside). That gives me a chance for my clothes ! 

Rob {aside). I'll sneak that skirt ! 

{Both exity looking back at each other suspiciously. Petunia 
returns immediately, and pulls ^OB'sred skirt from trunk.) 

Petunia. There, I've got the better of him ! 

{Runs into room, r., with skirt.) 

Enter Rob, door l. 

Rob. Now for that skirt ! Here it is ! 

{Grabs Petunia's red skirt from trunk and exits, L.) 

Petunia {entering r., with Rob's skirt). How aggrava- 
ting ! This isn't mine ! Jack must have been to a masquer- 
ade, or something or other ! 

Rob {entering with Petunia's skirt, and not perceiving 
Petunia). I could swear this isn't the skirt I had on ! What 
the deuce 

( They suddenly perceive each other, wave red skirts, shriek, 
and vanish into rooms R. and l. Rob peers out again, 
gloves in one hand ; rushes to the trunk and throws Pe- 
tunia's skirt into it, sitting on trunk as she enters.) 

Petunia {entering from r., with boxing gloves). Here are 
the gloves ! 

Rob {putting on his gloves). Hope you're strong in the 
wind ! 



10 jack's brother's sister 

Petunia {frightened). Why, you wouldn't knock the 
breath out of me, would you ? 

Rob. That's my specialty ! 

Petunia. Well, I think a lot of my breath, and I don't want 
to lose it! {With braggadocio.') Anyhow, you'll get hurt if 
you box with me ! One slap, and you'd fall right over ! 

Rob. Come on ! {Coiiteviptuous ly .) Why, you've got 
those gloves on thumbs outside ! 

Petunia {indignantly). Well, maybe my thumbs grow that 
way ! {Puts gloves on correctly.) 

Rob {sparring by hitnself). First to limber up ! 

Petunia. Yes, first to limber up ! (Aside.) I don't know 
how to box, but I'll have to pretend ! 

( Watches Rob in his comic sprinting about. He acts as if 
p07n?Jieling somebody's head U7ider his arm f etc. What- 
ever Rob does Petunia immediately itnitates. Keep up as 
long as business goes.) 

Rob. Now, then, look out for your wind ! {Takes position. 
Petunia gives him a comical slap in the face before he is pre- 
pared.) Good ! {Strikes out at her. She turns her back 
and runs, Rob after her.) Where are you going? This isn't 
a foot race ! 

Petunia. Yes, it is ! {Co?itinues running.) 

Rob {indignantly, still pur sui?ig her). Why, you're a reg- 
ular sissie ! 

Petunia. Well, sissies are just as good as bubbles. 

{Jumps over chair,) 

Rob. Come on. {Corners her.) 

Petunia {almost crying). I can't fight. I won't ! I — 
I've hurt my finger ! 

Rob. How ? 

Petunia {crossly). Stepped on it. How do you suppose? 

Rob {contemptuously). Baby ! You ought to be in petti- 
coats ! 

Petunia (trenmlotisly). I — I wish I were ! 

Rob. I've a good mind to thrash you, and make a man of 
you ! 

Petunia {tearfully). That wouldn't do it. (Rob makes a 
pass at her ; she throws gloves at him.) Keep away from me, 
I say. 



JACKS BROTHERS SISTER II 

Rob {with tolerant conte7?ipt). Oh, of course, if you've got 
a sore finger, that settles it. {Takes off his owfi gloves.) Sit 
down! (Petunia sits by table.) Say, kid, on the Q. T., is 
your sister as pretty as that picture there ? 

Petunia {taking up picture). My sister is the living image 
of me — {aside) all but the pants ! 

Rob. I've dreamed of her for two long years. What do 
you suppose she'd think if she knew it, eh ? 

Petunia. Dreamed of her for two years, and never showed 
up? Well, she'd think you were slow, I can tell you that ! 

Rob {despairingly). I knew it ! My confounded bashful- 
ness \ I send her messages in Jack's letters sometimes, hot 
stuff. But when it comes to meeting a girl face to face, espe- 
cially a vision like her 

Petunia {aside). Isn't he sweet when he talks like that ? 
{Direct.) Oh, brace up ! She's nothing to be afraid of ! 

Rob. But suppose I should ever meet her ! Now, what the 
dickens could I say ? 

Petunia. That's easy. Begin like this. {Dramatically.) 
" Oh, Miss Gay, Petunia, Pet ! I know I've only been in love 
with you for the brief space of twice three hundred and sixty- 
five days, but the strength of my attachment " {Holds 

out hand to Rob.) Here you squeeze her hand. 

Rob (/iZ/^///^ Petunia's hand gingerly). Wouldn't that be 
rather sudden ? 

Petunia. A girl likes a sudden man. 

Rob. Does she ? This kind ? {Squeezes her hand with 
both of his until she drazvs up foot, a7td makes a grimace of 
pain.) How's that? 

Petunia {shaki?ig hand as if it hurt her inte?isely). I don't 
know until I see a doctor. Now, put one arm around her, 
gently — like this. {Fulls his arm around her.) 

Rob. Say, she'd scratch my eyes out ! 

Petunia. Would she ? Both arms, please ! 

{Draws his other arm around her, and leans back against 
him blissfully.) 

Rob {holding position). She'd call for help ! At least I think 
she would, but if she didn't I'd give her such a squeeze 

{In his excitement squeezes Petunia violently.) 

Petunia. Oh, you've flattened me right out ! What do 



12 jack's brother's sister 

you take me for? {Staggers away from him.') Wow, I'm 
mashed to jelly ! 

Rob {disgustedly). Well, of all the molly-coddle muffs you 
are the limit 1 Why, I'll bet even your sister has more sand 
than you have. Jack told me about her dressing up in boys' 
clothes once and winning the race at a county fair. 

Petunia {indignantly). Jack blabbed about that, did he? 

Well, of all the {Stops abruptly.) Oh, did you think it 

unladylike in Petunia? Awfully unladylike? But, you see, 
it seemed as if she just had to do it. Things had gone wrong 
with dad that year — he put his money in stocks, you know, and 
stocks went down. Isn't it queer the way stocks have of going 
down just after you have put your money in them? Why, it 
almost ruined dad. There were notes coming due it seemed 
he couldn't meet; and so he staked every cent he could raise 
on the black filly to redeem himself. Oh, she was a fleet one, 
that filly ! But cranky ! Jockey Joe and I — I mean Jockey 
Joe and my sister, were the only ones she'd take a stride for. 
And then, just at the last moment^ the very morning of the 
race. Jockey Joe fell sick. Petunia was a coward, as big a 
coward as all women are, but for dad's sake she determined to 
put on jockey's clothes and ride that filly. She'd have gone 
through fire and water for dad. 

Rob. When Jack told me of it, I thought it was the bravest, 
pluckiest thing a girl ever did. 

Petunia (relieved). Oh, I'm so glad you feel that way 
about it. I — I thought you might blame her, you know. 
{With enthusiasm.) But it was a great race ! Here were the 
horses all lined up for the start. To the left Bill Dorkins on 
White Lightning 

Rob. I know him. A cheat driver, as mean as they make 
them. 

Petunia. Yes, and his horse a winner in half the county 
races last year. To the right, Hal Smith on Buffo, the favorite 
until White Lightning was entered. Here me, on the black 
filly Neverdie, in her maiden race. 

Rob. You mean your twin sister on Neverdie. 

Petunia. But every one thought it was I. We look so 
much alike, you see. Oh, can't you imagine the grandstand 
jammed, the band playing, everybody cheering for their 
favorites ? 

Rob (ringing bell on table). They're off ! 

Petunia. White Lightning in the lead, Buffo a close sec- 



JACK S BROTHER S SISTER I3 

ond, the black filly back in the bunch. Shouts from the 
crowd, <*Go it, Lightning; you'll win the race." **Keep it 
up, Buffo." Dad in the grandstand, white as a ghost, with 
his eyes on Neverdie. Lightning down to his long, flat racing 
stride. Buffo at his neck ; four good lengths of daylight show- 
ing between them and the field. No chance for the rest. 

Rob. Yes, yes, but how about Neverdie ? 

Petunia. Lost in the bunch, but going steady as a pendu- 
lum ! (^ Jumps aside trufik.') That's right, Neverdie, slow, 
slow. It's a long race and the last lap tells. Save your wind. 
Hear the shouting. ''Ha, there. Lightning!" ''On there, 
Buffo ! " " Only two in the race ! " Let yourself out a little, 
Neverdie, but steady, steady. They think you're too far 
behind to catch up now, but the race is only half over and 
you're just getting down to work. On, on, for dad's sake, 
Neverdie. Trees slipping by like green ribbons, dust blinding 
me, those two horses still ahead, but we're creeping up on 
them inch by inch. On, girl, on. We're abreast of Buffo, 
we've passed him ; Lightning only half a length ahead and 
slacking speed. Do your best, little filly; it's the race of our 
lives. Don't fail me, don't fail me now, or you'll break my 
heart. We're up to Lightning's side, his shoulder, gaining, 
gaining ! Now it's neck and neck ! Oh, if that wire weren't 
quite so near ! On, I tell you, Neverdie ! Think of dad ! 
Only half a second more. On, on, we're under the wire ! 
We've won ! Whoop ! (Jumps frotn trunk, waving her ha7id 
above her head. Rob joins her i?i shouti?tg with Joy. Pe- 
tunia staggers toward a chair, exhausted.) Water, water for 
the jockey, and a piece of chocolate cake ! 

Rob (collariftg her). Chocolate cake, chocolate cake, is it? 
Aha ! Say, young fellow, you've given yourself away at last. 
Do you know where it is ? 

Petunia {stammer ifiglyi). The ch-chocolate cake ? 

Rob {sarcastically). Oh, fudge, yes. The ch-chocolate cake. 

Petunia {meekly'). It's hid under the sofa. 

Rob {aside). Now, how the deuce did he find that out ? 
(^Direct.) Well, I see you are on to me. But I'll never let 
you out of here to blab about it to the Seniors. Make up your 
mind to that. 

Petunia {aside). How he glares ! And what is he talking 
about? I believe he's gone crazy all of a sudden. 

Rob {meaningly). And of course you won't let me out with 
the cake ? 



14 jack's brother's sister 

Petunia (aside). I suppose I'd better agree with him. 
{Direct f imitating his tone.) No, no, I won't let you out with 
the cake. 

Rob. So we might as well eat it ! 

Petunia (aside). Brother's cake ! I hope it chokes him. 
But I'll have to give in to a lunatic. 

(They both cross to sofa and sit down. After they look at 
each other curiously, each reaches down between his feet 
and gets a cake from under the sofa. Then they start 
to opposite sides of room, lookifig at each other in amaze- 
ment , each beholding the other with a cake.) 

Rob. Well, you certainly take the cake ! 

Rob ) (each holding cake in one hand and pointing with 

Petunia | the other). Where did you get that? 

Rob (first to recover hijnself). So you've been stealing, 
too? 

Petunia. I didn't steal two ! I didn't even steal one. 
Mother baked it ! ( Whistle sounds outside.) 

Rob. The Juniors' signal ! (Goes to l., and is seen look- 
ifig out of the window. Calls down.) Yes, I sneaked the 
Seniors' cake, all right. I have it here. 

Petunia (aside). Then that is the Seniors' cake, and he 
stole it ! Now I know why they chased me. But my brother 
Jack's a Senior, and I've got to stand up for Jack. 

Rob (shoutitig down again). Yes, I'll lower it to you as 
soon as I get a rope. \_Exit into room, L. 

Petunia (solus). The Juniors shan't have it ! They shan't 
have either of them ! (If ides both cakes under the table.) 
But what will he do if he can't find them ? Oh, I'm afraid ! 

(Jumps into trunk and lets lid down, with only a crack 
where she can peep.) 

Rob (entering from l., 7vith rope, and looki7?g about bewil- 
dered). Why, where is it? Where's he? What's up, any- 
how ? [Looks ifito room, r., and all around, suspiciously, then 
addresses blank space on wall.) You needn't try to hide your- 
self. I can see you as plain as daylight, and the cake, too ! 
(Ope?ts door in flat.) Here, you two-spot, come back here, or 
I'll break your neck ! [Exit, hastily, outside door. 

(Petunia peers from trunks then jumps out and reaching 
into itf hastily pulls out her clothes.) 



jack's brother's sister 15 

Petunia. I'll get into these skirts again, or die in the 
attempt ! [Exit, r. 

Rob {enterifig door in flat). What a fool I am! He's 
hiding in that trunk, of course ! {Approaches trunk cautious ly^ 
and lifts lid suddenly.) No, by Jove ! Well, I'll find him 
and stop his blab if I have to chase this whole building over ! 
And he's run off with the cakes, too ! I didn't think he had it 
in him ! Nervy little cuss, and looked like a hairpin ! 
{Goes to window, and shouts down.') Hey! Keep a look- 
out at the gates for a dinkey little chap with a couple of cakes ! 
He's swiped ours and another one ! Grab him and put him in 
a hat box, and bring him back to my room. {Returns to c, 
and picks up Petunia's photo from table.) He's your brother, 
but I'm going to lick him ! No, worse than that ; sure as I 
catch him I'll turn him over my knee, and paddle him with a 
slipper. That'll take the starch out of him ! {Se7itimentally, 
to picture.) You'll forgive me, won't you. Petunia? You 
know I'd never serve you like that ! [Returns photo to table.) 
I wonder if they've caught him ? [Exit, outside door. 

Enter Petunia from r. She has on red skirt and big hatf 
and is struggling i?tto her coat. 

Petunia (with determination). Before I go I'll throw those 
cakes out of the window, if there are no Juniors prowling around. 
I've turned against chocolate forever I {Takes cakes to win- 
dow, and looks out.) Not a Junior in sight. Only a couple 
of children. {Throws cake, and calls doivn.) Yes, little girl, 
yes, it's for you, dear. {Throws second cake.) And here's 
another! Give httle brother some I {Returns to room.) Now 
to make my escape before 

(Starts toward outside door, and meets Rob coming in.) 

Rob {politely, not recognizing her). I beg your pardon 

Petunia. I made a mistake in the cake. I mean door ! 
Excuse yourself — good-morning ! 

Rob {getting between her afid the door). By thunder, it's 
you ! 

Petunia (very much agitated). No, it isn't; indeed, it 
isn't. You're entirely mistaken ! 

^Q)^ (sternly). You, dressed up in girls' clothes I But that 
disguise won't work ! Take them off right where you stand I 

Petunia. I — I can't 



i6 jack's brother's sister 

Rob {emphatically). If you don't take them off, I will. 
I've made up my mind to spank you with a slipper, and 

Petunia {shrieking^ and getting behind chair). Don't you 
touch me ! Don't you dare ! I'm not what you think, I'm a 
woman — Jack's brother's sister ! 

Rob (s tagger i fig back). Petunia, the girl I love? 

Petunia. Yes, Petunia, the girl who loves you ! I mean — 
I don't know what I mean 

Rob (with quick scorn). It's just another trick ! I don't 
believe you're a girl at all! (Suddenly and perefnptorily.) 
Rats ! 

Petunia (shrieking, drawing skirts about her, revealing 
ridifig boots still on, and jumping on table). Rats? Where — 
where — oh, save me ! How many did you see ? 

Rob (aside). She's a woman, sure enough ! And she said 
she loved me 1 (Setitimefitally.) Petunia ! 

Petunia. Yes, Jack's brother's sister ! 

Rob (rapturously). Jack's brother's sister, you are mine ! 

{^Jumps on to table beside hery and takes her in his arms.) 



CURTAIN 



B. VJ. Pincro's Plays 

Price, SO Kc it^ €acb 



n/Iin PH ANNFI ^^'^y "^ ^^^^ ^^^^' ^^^ males, five females. 
i"*L'"^n/xniiEilj Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. 
Plays two arid a half hours. 

THE NOTORIOUS MRS. EBBSMITH ^I'ir^fil 

males, five females. Costumes, modern; scenery, all interiors. 
Plays a full evening. 

THF PRnFTir°AT&^ Playin Four Act?. Seven males, five 
1 OLi r iVV/i Liivi/\ i fu temales. Scenery, three interiors, rather 
elaborate ; costumes, modern. Plays a full eveninj^ 

TUr CrWnni M?QTD1T'>LQ Farce in XLree Acts. Ninemales, 
int. ;5LnUULlVliOlKLi3'^ seven females. Costumes, mod- 
ern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

THE SECOND MRS. TANQUERAY SjjrSs,^«ve 

females. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a 
full evening. 

^WPPT T AVFWnFR Comedy in Three Acts. Seven males, 
O VY IL£i i Lii\ V luliUEiS^ four females. Scene, a single interior, 
costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

TUr TUf TMnr^JRAI T Coinedv in Four Acts. Ten males, 
inEi inVlHUlLjiXBULcl uiue females. Scenery, three interi- 
ors; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THF TIMF^ Comedy in Four Act's. Six males, seven females. 
inC 1 IItILiiJ Scene, a single interior ; costumes, modern. Plays 
a full evening. 

THF WFAKT!? QFY Comedy in Three Acts. Eight males, 
10£i TfJu/\ffirii\ u£iA eight females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery, two interiors. Plays a full evening. 

A WIFE WITHOUT A SrfilLE ?l^';^^L:",Sfeml5a; 

Costumes, modern ; scene, a single interior. Plays a full eveningo 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

l^alter i|. pafeer Sc Company 

Noo 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



yBRARY OF CONGRESS 

015 937 450 6 ^ 



C|)e 3^illiam 5^arren Ctittton 
of ^laps 



AS YOU I IRF IT Comedy in Five Acts. Thirteen males, four 
AiJ ivu Ltia.l4 11 females. Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, ya- 
ried. Plays a full evening. 

CAMIT I F ^"^^^^ i" Five Acts. Nine males, five females. Cos- 
S^AailLtLtLi tumes, modern ; scenery, varied. Plays a full evening, 

INfiOMAR Pl^y i" Vive Acts. Thirteen males, three females. 
inuiflTlAIV Scenery varied ; costumes, Greek. Plays a full evening. 

IWARY STUART Tragedy in rive Acts. Thirteen males, four fe- 
iil/ii\l k^iUAHl males, and supernumeraries. Costumes, of the 
period ; scenery, varied and elaborate. Plays a full evening. 

THE MERCHANT OF VENICE ^SSlJ^^^^S^ HZ^f, 

picturesque ; scenery varied. Plays a full evening. 

PfCHFT IFII Play in Five Acts. Fifteen males, two females. Seen 
evening. 



ery elaborate ; costumes of the period. Plays a full 



THF RIVAI S Co™etiy in Five Acts. Nine males, five females. 
iiiiw lUT/iL/iJ Scenery varied; costumes of the period. Plays a 
full evening. 

SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER SetLi? S,ef 'Icen^^t 

ried ; costumes of the period. Plays a full evening. 

TWELFTH NICHT; OR, WHAT YOU WILL '^Z:%il.l^l 



three females, 
full evening. 



Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, varied. Plays a 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by- 
Walter ]^. I5alier & Compani? 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



S. J. PARKHILL a CO., PRINTKAS, BOSTON, U.S.A. 



